Gaper's Blog

"Hey Big Guy!"

Full disclosure: I'm not a thin man, haven't been since college at least, some would even say high school.  While it's certainly not something I'm proud of, I do make an effort to get thinner and as a result, I suppose I can be mildly sensitive about my girth. Mildly.  If someone I know makes a light-hearted crack about it, I usually joke along and even sometimes lead with a self-effacing weight joke if the situation merits it.  That said, I also believe in highlighting people's better qualities when addressing them, it's just good form.   If say I was tending bar and a female patron was attempting to buy a drink, I might say, "Hey blue eyes, what can I get you?"  Nothing troublesome or sexist, just a pleasant salutation, that's just good marketing.

Last week I was waiting at the box office/will-call window at The Vic Theatre before the Dinosaur Jr. show.  I was second in line behind a woman who took a long time to complete her transaction and while I was in line an ostensibly homeless man who kept repeating, loudly, "Hey Big Guy! Hey Big Guy! Need a ticket?"  Now, like I admitted earlier, I am big but if someone chooses to address me in that manner, I ignore them, which I did with this guy.  I doubt he'd enjoy it if I said, "No, homeless man, I already have a ticket." or "I'm good, smells-like-beer-and-urine." You don't even have to be complimentary, a simple: dude, man, chief, bro, captain or sir would suffice.  But no, this man persisted with 'Big Guy', again and again.  Not even an "Excuse me", just "Big Guy! Big Guy! Need a ticket?"  After he repeated his mantra for about the tenth time, I said, "No, persistent, gap-toothed man, my ticket is waiting at the window."  He slunked away and I never saw him again.  I could've gone a lot more negative in my response but 'gap-toothed' seemed about as gut-level superifical as 'Big Guy', not an insult, an observation (think a Michael Strahan-sized gap between teeth) and it worked as he split. 

So what's the worst thing you've been called on the street?  What's the worst thing you've called someone? What's an acceptable 'pet name' for a stranger to call you?

Crucial Music (Volume XII: Soul Asylum)

If the Twin Cities in the 1980s were The British Invasion, Husker Du were the Beatles, The Replacements were The Stones and Soul Asylum were The Who, a great live band who didn't get quite the recognition of their loftier peers.  Soul Asylum were often referred to as the best live band in the country for a decade or so, leading David Letterman to quip, "they ain't so bad in the city either" when the band appeared on 'Late Night' in the 90s. And unlike their critically acclaimed Twin Cities brethren, they actually achieved mainstream, platinum success, just much later than most bands.

After a debut EP and album, Soul Asylum released Made To Be Broken, the first of three (!) records they'd release in 1986, with "Ship Of Fools" the standout track that received gobs of college radio airplay.  The following year, they signed to their first major label, A&M.  A&M shelled out big bucks, enlisting Patti Smith collaborator Lenny Kaye and Ramones producer Ed Stasium to produce Hang Time.  Despite some great material like "Sometime To Return", the album stiffed as far as major label standards go.  What was meant as a light-hearted parody of Herb Alpert's Whipped Cream and Other Delights, record (by the way, Alpert is the "A" in A&M Records) Soul Asylum released Clam Dip and Other Delights which did them no favors at A&M. The band worked with drummer Steve Jordan on their next A&M record And The Horse They Rode In On, which was sonically pristine but failed to yield a hit, again.  My personal favorite "Nice Guys (Don't Get Paid)" is spectacular but not really hit single material. Not surprisingly, with a drummer behind the board, they got an amazing drum sound on the record.  Still, it wasn't enough and A&M dropped the band.

After being dumped by a major label, most bands would either split up or go slinking back to their Indie label and beg to get re-signed.  Columbia Records came calling and Soul Asylum signed with their second major label.  Twas a good move as the resultant (second) Major Label Debut: Grave Dancers Union went Double Platinum, lead singer Dave Pirner hooked up with Winona Ryder and the band played President Clinton's Inaugural Ball.  "Without A Trace" was the last of four hits from the album.

Then the wheels started falling off.  First, after eight years as the band's drummer, Grant Young was shown the door.  Then, founding member Karl Mueller was diagnosed with cancer and after a brief remission, died.  The band continued to make records with a few different drummers and former Replacement Tommy Stinson joined as bass player.  Of their latter work, "Just Like Anyone" is a throwback, it could've come from their Twin/Tone period.  The band (Pirner and Murphy) is still technically together and still play as Soul Asylum but haven't released a record since 2006's The Silver Lining, Karl Mueller's swan song.  Ever the scrappy underdog, Soul Asylum still have some good records left in them.

Have a great weekend, enjoy the music.

The Not-So-Fab 5

Twas a busy week, lingering illness for me and (unrelated) new illness for Abby and Carla, thus no Crucial Music post this week.  Not enough hours in the day.  I did get involved in a Facebook thread that I thought might be interesting for this blog and doesn't require the labor-intensive prep work a Crucial Music post does.

The saying, "Familiarity breeds contempt" is a curious one.  While it certainly has merit, I think familiarity can also breed indifference, for example: The Beatles.  Whether you love or hate the Beatles, it's pretty tough to go through life without a solid knowledge of their history and body of work.  Even haters could probably name all four members and a dozen songs without thinking about it.  And to those of us who enjoy their work, because so much of their catalog is imprinted on our subconscious, we probably give a pass to some of their lesser work.  Like a prayer, pledge or oath we recite frequently, we often go through the motions without much thought to what we're saying. We may be singing along or tapping our toes to "Yellow Submarine"  before it hits us, "I HATE this song!"

With that in mind, a simple request: name your 5 Worst Beatles Songs.  Whether you love or hate those Liverpudlians, they wrote their share of clunkers, post your Bottom 5.  I'll get it started.

5)  'Blue Jay Way' - I enjoy most of George Harrison's Beatles output but this dud isn't one of them.

4) 'Within You Without You'/'Love You To' - Not to pile on Mr. Harrison but these two sitar/tabla pieces are instant skips for me.

3) 'Revolution 9' - You could point to the Stockhausen, Varese and Cage influence on this track and it would still be a boring, over-long experimental 'piece'.  George Martin fought to keep this one off the White Album but was overruled.

2) 'Good Night' - As a kid, I was drawn to the Ringo-sung material because a lot of it was goofy fun but this song is utterly forgettable.

1) 'Run For Your Life' - For a guy who was such a feminist, it's surprising this misogynistic song came from John Lennon.  John himself even admitted in an interview that it was his least favorite Beatles song and the one he most regretted writing. Easily skippable as the last (and only dud) song on Rubber Soul.

Your turn.  State your degree of Beatles love/hate and fire off your Bottom 5.  Have a great weekend!

Sure Is Windy Dere in Chi-Town Tonight

You know how I can tell if you're not from Chicago?  You call it 'Chi-Town' or 'The Windy City', it's among my biggest civic pet peeves.  Just as I'm pretty sure New Yorkers aren't particularly keen on 'The Big Apple', San Franciscans don't like 'Frisco', Denver residents are tired of 'The Mile High City' and residents of the great state of Wisconsin loathe being called 'Cheeseheads', even if some do willingly wear foam cheese hats at Packer games.  I don't even like people referring to Los Angeles as 'L.A.' Nobody calls it S.F., S.D. or N.O..

Guess what else has grown tiresome?  The Chicago Cubs as a punchline.  I watched Seth Meyers deliver his usually funny Weekend Updatedesk piece on SNL (an acceptable abbreviation, by the way) and he did a joke about Chicago not getting the Olympics and the punchline was "Chicago's used to being eliminated in the first round."  Ha!  That's funny, because the Cubs lose a lot and haven't been to a World Series in a century.  You probably think it's sour grapes on my part because I happen to be a die-hard Cubs fan and I'm sick of them being the butt of jokes.  Not really, it's more that making a Cubs crack is to go to the most shallow of comic wells, the hoariest of cliches.  Like all Texans carry guns, everyone from Alabama is married to a family member and--of course--all Irish Catholics come from huge families.  We revel in this comfortable shorthand, or at least some of us do.

Think about the shelf life of some of these cliches and stereotypes and how some still embrace them whereas others move on.  Chicago's rich history of political corruption and graft is not cliche because it's still an everyday occurrence with people like Rod Blagojevich, Todd Stroger and Richard M. Daley to thank for keeping that alive.  Hot dogs and pizza still dominate our culinary image despite world class chefs like Charlie Trotter, Grant Achatz and Rick Bayless thriving here and becoming internationally famous.  And hey, don't look now, but the Cubs, Bears, Bulls and Blackhawks are all coming off winning seasons, sorry Sox fans.

So whether it's Chicago or another city, what nicknames, stereotypes and cliches about where you live tick you off?

Crucial Music (Volume XI: Miracle Legion)

I still remember the first time I heard Miracle Legion.  A friend of mine made me a compilation tape as a Christmas gift in the mid 80's (an idea I'd later adopt and still follow) and he put the song "The Backyard" on it, I became an instant fan.  At the time Miracle Legion were unfairly maligned as R.E.M. ripoffs, which was neither true nor a particularly original critique.  Anyone with a bit of jangle and east coast roots were lumped into that company: The Connells, Let's Active, dB's and Guadalcanal Diary were just a few of the bands accused of sounding like the most famous Athenians since B-52's. We'll see how the whole R.E.M. thing comes full-circle later on. 

While I became a Miracle Legion fan in high school, it wasn't until I was off at college that I got to see them live and "Closer to the Wall (Live)"* from the Glad record demonstrates their prowess on stage.  Iowa City is the perfect tour stop between Chicago and Minneapolis and the smart bands did just that, building a nice fan base in the process.  Miracle Legion made many stops in Iowa City while I was there and the most memorable (for me) was when they came to town in support of their Drenched record in the Spring of 1992, featuring the stellar "Sea Hag". The first leg had them traveling with a huge stage set and a series of risers and backdrops but then that fall they came back with a spartan set.  I contacted their label (Morgan Creek) about interviewing band leader Mark Mulcahy on my college radio station: KRUI.  While they were pressed for time, Mark agreed to a 'phoner' from Chicago after they had played Lounge Ax (R.I.P).  If you promise not to laugh, here's that interview, warts and all: "Mark Mulcahy Interview". 

Miracle Legion's output was sporadic after that but Mark continued to record as a solo artist.  To be totally honest, he'd fallen off my radar screen of late but I recently heard of a tribute album in the works for Mark, featuring songs from his solo career as well as Miracle Legion.  Unfortunately, the reason for the tribute was rooted in tragedy; Mark's wife Melissa (also the mother of their twin girls) died unexpectedly last year and this album will benefit Mark and his daughters. Usually, in my Friday posts I provide samples of music to whet your appetite but not this time.  I've provided examples of Miracle Legion above but in the interests of generating interest in the tribute/benefit album, I will only provide a link to the album's site and list a few of the artists who have contributed to the project.  Everybody from (the aforementioned) Michael Stipe to Frank Black, Dinosaur Jr. (who cover 'The Backyard') Thom Yorke, Juliana Hatfield and Mercury Rev, to name but a few.

Have a great week, enjoy the music and if you can, try and help out Mark Mulcahy and his daughters by buying this album. Hopefully, like the Sweet Relief series, it will not only help Mark and his family but also will introduce a whole new audience to the magic of Mark Mulcahy's songwriting.

* This song was ripped off of an old vinyl copy, hence it skipping at the end, sorry.

Crucial Music (Volume X: The The)

I worked for a law firm for three years in high school, which cured any lingering desire I may have held to become a lawyer.  One of the lawyers was on the stodgy side, the other was kinda cool.  The cool one and I used to talk about music a lot.  The first band we talked about was Talk Talk, as he liked the song "Life's What You Make It" but he wasn't a big fan of the album (I was).  Then (sensing a trend) he asked me about The The (he never got around to Duran Duran) a band I didn't know much about at the time.  All I knew then (circa 1986) was they had a bad name and they recently had a semi-hit with "Infected".  I didn't think much if it at the time.  It wasn't until my freshman year in college that my good friend Scott introduced my to The The's second album Soul Mining.  Oh man, what a record, it was the perfect tonic for a homesick college student in a ill-fated long distance relationship. No college freshman should EVER be in a long-distance relationship. 

Upon the first few listens, the album seemed to be a concept record about a lovesick guy living in a new place, then I realized I was projecting.  It certainly was written from some dark places but as it progresses to a happier place and ends on a great track, which differs depending on which continent you live(d) on.  I thought it was a secret little record only me, Scott and a few other 'cool' people were privy to, then I met a guy at my college radio station who mentioned it in passing one day.  I told him how great that record was and how it helped me through a rough patch and he said, "You've heard it in the proper order right?".  "No", I said.  "What's the proper order?"  He said, "Listen to carefully to "I've Been Waitin' For Tomorrow (All Of My Life)" at the beginning, when you hear a countdown that's out of order, program your CD player to that order."  I did that but it didn't make any more sense as an album; it was like the 'secret' symbolism on the cover of Abbey Road: a lot of bunk but it makes for great rumor amongst fans.

Obviously, the best way to experience the album is to listen to it, start to finish which I highly recommend but for the sake of this post, you need a taste or two.  If you heard the UK version, your Soul Mining ended with "Giant" a epic cut. The American version ended with "Perfect" both great songs from a 5 star album but decidedly different ways to end a record.  I'll reserve my opinion until a few of you post comments with your take(s).

Have a great weekend, enjoy the music.

Ace In The Hole

Though I've never been outstanding at the game, I've always loved golf.  I played my first round  at Ken Loch in Lombard, circa 1982.  My first real job other than mowing lawns was as a caddie at Glen Oak Country Club in Glen Ellyn.  One of the perks of the job was that caddies got to play the course for free on Mondays of which I took full advantage.  I'd often caddy the minimum during the week just to qualify for the free round (I wasn't a particularly ambitious 12 year old, but how many of us were?) Then one week, some ingrate caddie took a divot out of the first green and the 'caddies golf free' Mondays evaporated; so did my desire to lug 75 pound golf bags around for 4 hours a day for $15 plus tip.

I played a fair amount in high school but for some reason, I rarely played at college, too busy I guess. I finally hit a groove in my mid 20's, I had a permanent tee time at Peter Jans in Evanston every Friday from 1994-1999.  I also remember playing a round at Waveland Golf Course on November 1, 1999 , the reason I remember the date so readily is because, right after the round, I got in my car, turned on the radio and learned that Walter Payton had died.  1999-2008 was another period of golf dormancy for me as I had a day job and a night job, though I'd still manage a round or two a summer.  After shedding my day job this year to help take care of Abby, I found myself with some free afternoons again and rekindled my passion for the game; I've managed  about ten rounds this summer. One thing that's never waned over the years is my minor obsession with holes-in-one.

Depending on who you talk to to, holes-in-one are either the luckiest shots in the game or a show of pure skill.  The fact that just about every touring professional has a few under his belt (Tiger Woods has 18!) supports the skill argument.  I mean after all, when we we're standing on the tee of a Par 3 hole, don't we all try and pick the proper club, throw a few blades of grass in the air and try our best to make a hole-in-one every time? I know I do.  Then you talk to a guy who shanked a 3 iron, hit a tree and the ricochet landed in the hole, or the 62 year-old woman who sank the first shot she ever took on a golf course and the pendulum swings over to the chance side, like catching a foul ball at a baseball game.  Either way, I'm a bit obsessed with them.  Two people who I've played with have holes-in-one (though not in my presence) and I've grilled them ad nauseum multiple times about the details.  A friend I've played with a few times came within a foot of one last week (above left).  I had a 158 yard tee shot land within 5' of the cup earlier this summer; of course I missed the birdie putt but salvaged par. Funny, because  I'm usually near automatic within 5' of the cup.

I haven't given up on the hope of someday scoring my own ace but in the interim, I'd just like to witness one in person.  Tell me your hole-in-one story or even a near hole-in-one story, I'll live vicariously through yours.

Crucial Music (Volume IX: The Beatles)

One of the greatest tricks media companies have foisted upon the public is getting them to buy the same thing again and again.  Say you love the Godfather movies, you probably bought them on VHS in the 80s, again on DVD in the 90s and are awaiting the inevitable Blu-ray boxed set.  If you are of a certain age you've likely done the same thing with many recording artists; you bought it on LP when it came out, upgraded to CD and maybe even bought the deluxe reissues/remasters when they came out. And hell, if you're a Bowie or Elvis Costello fan, you even have two different sets of 'reissues' from which to choose. The Smiths famously decried this process in their song 'Paint A Vulgar Picture' only to helplessly/haplessly watch their record labels use the song as a template for future Smiths reissues, with only one or two songs differentiating between two separate releases. 

Some bands were just mishandled by their record labels who just issued compact discs without any consideration for the 'new' format's increased fidelity and dynamic range and dumped inferior product on the market to cash in on the CD 'craze'.  Of course when the time came, these were ripe for the deluxe reissue/remaster treatment.  A&M Records totally dropped the ball not once but twice when The Police catalog came out on CD.  The first time out, the CDs sounded flat and hissy, then they issued a boxed set upon which they made no sonic improvement whatsoever and then finally got it right with a complete reissue/remaster a few years ago.  (Guess who got burned by that  twice?).  U2 handled it pretty well, their original CDs always were always sonically superior to begin with and then Island/Interscope began an exhaustive remaster/reissue campaign last year with their first three studio albums and the live Under a Blood Red Sky EP with each release yielding two discs and lots of rarities.  An improved 2 CD version of The Unforgettable Fire comes out around Thanksgiving.

All this hand wringing brings us to the much ballyhooed, remastered Beatles recordings that were just released last week.  Few people would defend the sonic quality of the original CDs that came out in the 1980s; some would even say the original 1960s LPs sounded better.  For better or worse, it was the only digital Beatles music available, until now.  Having been burned by dubious reissues before, I decided to listen to these new Beatles reissues before offering my opinion.  I have listened to a considerable percentage of these songs on headphones, near-field monitors and a top-notch car stereo.  Rather than simply telling you what I think, I figured I'd let you decide for yourselves.  I will post an mp3/m4a file of the original CD version of one song and then the remastered version in the same format.  Listen to them both and you decide which version you find superior.  Do realize that Apple Corps (the Beatles label) are also quite protective of their product, so if you see a strikethrough or the songs are removed, that is why.  In almost three years of posting songs here on this blog, nobody has ever sent me a cease and decist order or asked for the removal of music, they way I see it, I'm promoting music and the bitrate is shy of audiophile quality but certainly good enough to get a good idea of what these songs now sound like.

Here's the original CD version of "Hello,Goodbye (Old Version)", and then the remastered version: "Hello, Goodbye (Remaster)".  Listen yourself and decide and then comment below. Have a great weekend, enjoy the music.

Crucial Music (Volume VIII: One Song Wonders)

I feel I would be remiss if I didn't acknowledge that today is September 11th. That said, I've never been much for political commentary or coverage of current events here.  What does amaze me about the passing of another 9/11 anniversary is how little has changed and yet how weird it is that that terrible day was EIGHT years ago.  Yes, we have a new president but little else is different; have you seen Ground Zero lately? And the amount of soldiers killed in the Iraq and Afghanistan Wars has eclipsed the death toll of September 11th.  So take some time to reflect or whatever you do to observe this anniversary.  Onto the music.

As always, I have a mental logjam of material worthy of consideration here on Fridays; while I usually feature just one artist, I figured today I will spotlight three songs by three different artists.  This begs the question: "How can music be 'crucial' if each artist only merits one selection?".  Excellent question.  Fact is, none of these artists were ever even considered stars (though each do have cursory Wikipedia entries) but to me, each artist did manage to write one song that still gives me pleasure 23, 20 and 18 years later; that oughta mean something. They're all British too and a bit on the wispy side; not a lot of muscle here but great poppy melodies.  And if you knew or dated me in the 80s/90s, chances are one of these songs showed up on a mixtape.

First up: Blancmange, apparently it's a sort of pudding.  Bad band name.  They did write a helluva song though, oddly the song I chose wasn't one of the seven Top 40 Hits they managed in England but rather a 'depth' cut from their third album: Believe You Me.  Though the chances of me landing a Music Supervisor gig are slim, this would make a great 'closing credits song' for the right movie. Behold: "Why Don't They Leave Things Alone" And those pops you hear at the beginning are genuine; I ripped this off the vinyl LP circa 1999.

This next song comes from a Leeds band whose name has a loftier origin than pudding: a T.S. Eliot poem called The Hollow Men.  They are not to be confused with a Des Moines, Iowa band called The Hollowmen (who were fantastic). The Hollow Men didn't really distinguish themselves in their native UK or in the US (no singles charted in either country) but they did land a major label recording contract on both continents.  If you ask me, I think they chose the wrong single from their one and only BMG album Cresta; the band (or more likely the label) chose the decent "The Moons A Balloon" [sic], (bad grammar notwithstanding) whereas, "Don't Slow Down" was the song that enchanted me and was a staple on my college radio show back in 1990.  I almost went to see them at Metro that summer, almost.

Finally we arrive an and artist (and song) whose first single had me thinking, "Wow, this new Depeche Mode single is fantastic!"  The song was "The Great Commandment" from Camouflage and while that was a good song, the second single from their Voices and Images record was even better, even if it also sounded a lot like Depeche Mode.  After all, there weren't many better bands to emulate in the late 1980s/early 1990s, maybe The Cure?  At any rate, the strength of "That Smiling Face " was enough to command me to buy the cassingle (remember cassette singles??!) and eventually the full-length compact disc. Oh, and the pops and clicks you hear at the beginning of this track were added by the artist, perhaps a nod to the end of the vinyl era.

Have a great weekend, mine will be rock-filled: Datarock at Double Door on Friday and U2/Snow Patrol at Soldier Field on Saturday.  

Happy Conversation Fear Day!

This was a post that originally ran four years ago today; behold my dorkiness.  Jeff R. already acknowledged the holiday at 11PM CDT.

9-9/Conversation Fear Day

Way back in the 80's, in the pre-Internet era, when trying to figure just what the fuck Muchael Stipe was saying was a hobby unto itself, we* created our own R.E.M.-based holiday. For those who are familiar with the R.E.M. song '9-9' (off Murmur) there's a bunch of nearly unitelligable lyrics and then, the last two words as clear as a bell: conversation fear.

We somehow saw that to be a sign, that those two words signified something important that we needed to heed. So, because of this (probably) meaningless lyric, coupled with what we thought was a reference to September 9th (9-9) we created 'Conversation Fear Day'. The only way we celebrated this holiday was to acknowledge it, as early into it as possible, by saying: "Happy Converaton Fear Day". I've always had a scheduling advantage in that I'm always up at Midnight, no matter the day, so I've been the undisputed leader of acknowledging it earliest, this post helping to maintain that streak. I've even pre-posted it on 9-8 to post up at Midnight on 9-9.

And for those of you scratching your heads thinking "What?", yes, we'll all acknowledge that we are, were and will always be dorks, but hey, today marks the 26th Anniversary of 'Conversation Fear Day', we need to celebrate.

* We, being Me, Jeff, Jeff, Jason & Andy