Concert Etiquette 101

Let me preface this lesson by first stating that I am officially the last resident of Cook County to have visited Chicago's Millennium Park. I've flown over it dozens of times, but hadn't actually had a chance to see it up close, it's very nice; I touched 'The Bean'. We also saw a concert at the Pritzker (Gehry) Pavillion, which is stunning. What really disappointed me most was that I saw Millenium Park featured on three TV shows set in Chicago before I actually got to see it in person, which is really sad for someone who's lived here most of his life.  On to the etiquette lesson...

Let's just say I go to a lot of shows. By my own conservative estimate, I've seen over 1,000 shows. Here's some wisdom I'd like to pass on.

1) The T-Shirt Rule - Wearing a t-shirt of the band you're seeing is acceptable but not one from the current tour. If you buy a shirt at the show, you must wait at least a day before wearing it. If you put it on at the show, you are either under the age of 13 or you are an idiot. If you own a jacket emblazoned with the band's logo, by no means should you wear it to the show, that's just plain scary.

2) The Freebird Rule - It is never, under any circumstances, acceptable to yell 'Freebird' at any concert, even a Lynyrd Skynyrd show. Built to Spill actually do a great version of 'Freebird' but let them choose whether or not to do it.

3) The Talking Rule (aka the 'Schuba's Rule') - Feel free to talk amongst yourselves between songs and even whisper to your mate/friend during a song, but if you need to carry on a full conversation, either:  a) don't come to the show at all, or b) take it somewhere else, you could opt not to pay $20+ and have a great conversation all night long in a bar that doesn't feature live music.

4) The Cell Phone Rule - Unless you are a surgeon or on an organ donor recipient list, your cell should never come into play at a show. Don't call a friend and hold up your cell so they can hear their favorite song, don't take shitty-resolution photos from 300 feet away, don't use your cell as a 21st Century version of a cigarette lighter during a power ballad and don't actually take a call from someone and talk to them during the performance, that's actually punishable by maiming and/or death in most states.

5) The Cigarette Rule - If it's a non-smoking show--don't-- you're not being cool by flaunting the rules. If smoking is allowed, be cool to your fellow attendees and at least try to exhale upward. If you don't really smoke but 'bum' one from a neighbor, 1 is the maximum amount of cigarettes you can bum, after that, buy your own. If any of the above applies to the smoking of weed, disregard, but share with your neighbors.

6) The Request Rule - Unless the artist/band expressly solicits requests, don't suggest a song, they know their catalog. See 'Freebird Rule' above.

-and- two rules for artists/bands:

1) Unless your most recent album has been out for more than six months or is widely considered to be a masterpiece, you are forbidden from performing more than half of said album.

2) Unless you're actually from the town in which you're performing, make no more than one reference to a city or its' landmarks/sports teams/food. Beyond that, you're just pandering.

Comments

[Kent]

I don't think one should ever wear a band's t-shirt to that band’s show under any circumstances. It’s preaching to the choir, no?

Here’s my band rule - no encores. Just come out and play a good show, save the hit for the end, then go home. I don’t need to be forced to give love via 10 minutes of screaming and clapping.

[Diedre]

Excellent class today! Thank you, Teach!

[Scotty]

Does the Aragon Ballroom still sell big buckets of beer? I never thought that was a good idea. I haven't been to a show for quite some time but I hope the slam dance trend is over. I remember when people started moshing at a Feelies show at Gabes Oasis in '88. Ridicerous.

[Megan]

Scotty, no, sadly they do not sell the buckets of beer anymore. My ex, Bob, told me about those days...doesn't it seem a little unsanitary? Arm hair in my beer...mmmmm....

[Marjon]

I think smoking weed should be forbidden at concerts. Maybe at a reggae-concert it is sort of appropriate, but at every other concert it is just too much.
Brought to you by someone who lives in the country where they sort of legalised the shit...

[Andy]

Oooh this is a good one! I have two comments:

1. Sometimes breaking the rules can result in great things. Perhaps Jeff R. and Jordan remember an evening in Champaign in March 1989 watching some band play at some bar I forget. The singer responded to Jordan's sarcastic pleas for Freebird by shrugging and saying, "Well, you asked for it" and then cranking into a tremendously twisted version that was totally unexpected and the only thing I remember from the evening. Perhaps the fact that our group was the only five people in the bar had something to do with why they played it; perhaps the fact that I consumed about two pitchers of Lowenbrau Dark has something to do with the fact that it's the only thing I remember.

2. Kent, I agree with a modified version of your opinion of encores. One encore doesn't bother me -- in fact it's a break that provides an opportunity to change gears a little, get silly/rocking and send the crowd out on a high note. And a second encore to an absolutely fantastic show is a tremendous bonus -- I remember Trip Shakespeare coming out for a second encore after what is still possibly the best show I have ever seen, and saying "We never do this, you guys!" That felt like a gift to the audience; it said that they had a great time playing for us.

HOWEVER, the recent trend towards a 70-minute main set followed by 2 or 3 routine encores drives me fucking crazy. Don't pretend that you're giving us a gift -- it's disingenuous. Is your self-esteem that low that you need to hear unconditional love three or four times a day? Then call your mom.

Ken, here's a question: having seen 1000+ shows, and working in aircraft (another high-noise environment), what's your position on wearing hearing protection to shows? I've brought earplugs to particularly loud shows a couple of times, but it makes me feel old and not very rock 'n' roll. My feeling is that if I was doing it every day I'd get over the shame. Do you wear them?

[ken]

Kent: I like the encore rule, combined with Andy's modification.

Marjon- Shame on you ;)

Andy- So weird. Earplugs were originally one of my rules in my first draft but it was hard to make it into a 'rule' per se, so I omitted it. I hate earplugs and can count on one hand how many times I've actually used them. My Bloody Valentine comes to mind and Tar's last show at Lounge Ax was the loudest show I've ever seen for which I stuffed Kleenex in my ears. I've played drums for twenty years, have flown in noisy airplanes everyday for almost eight years and have attended over 1000 shows without ear protection. At my last doctor's appointment (in November), I had perfect hearing, so there you go. Earplugs=not cool & not necessary.

I do however have friends who work in clubs that have prescription earplugs, which I agree is a good idea.

[Scotty]

They handed out earplugs for a Jesus Lizard show at the Blind Pig, Champaign. I didn't use them because I was too young and it wasn't too loud.

I remember some fool jumping on stage at Mabels to try to get the lame ass crowd fired up. He did a stage dive and the crowd parted like the Red Sea. He landed flat on his face. What a drunken idiot. Amazingly enough I didn't wake up with any bruises the next day.

[Chris]

I agree on the drugs question? I would love to know what you think on this topic. I'll never forget seeing Radiohead at the Metro during The Bends tour and half of the place was blazin' the chronic. I couldn't understand why anyone was looking to be in an altered state for one of the best shows of my life.

Also, how can you talk about this without at least a cursory mention to moshing and/or crowd surfing? It's my personal opinion that you shouldn't start a mosh pit at Neil Diamond, for example. Also, when does it become okay for a fan at a show to be hoisted on to the shoulders of their friends and passed around the crowd? If Coolio wants to jump in the crowd, that's groovy by me. I'm just not sure why I'm passing Billy the convenient store clerk to my neighbors above my head.

What about going up to the band after the show and talking in a fake English accent? No rules against that?

[Kent]

Ear Plugs are cool! The cheap ass foam kind suck and sound like crap, but for about $20 you can get the kind that limits the DB's without cutting out high frequencies. I got some from an ear doctor to use on stage and now I use them at every show I attend. I used to have bad ringing in my ears, but now that I use my plugs and go to less shows, the ringing is going away.

[Greg Bolsinga]

I've only seen ~650 shows (see my site), so I'll defer to Ken.

I dislike people who push to the front when there is no room. I dislike people who are acting more inebriated than the rest of the crowd around them is.

I used to like to tell people how they are bothering me. This has gotten me punched more than once at a show, but it hasn't happened for years.

There was this drunken guy at a Guided by Voices show at Metro (so he matched the band's inebriation level, but I digress). He was bugging the hell out of everyone around him, including me. So at a lull, I said loudly, "Hey, can I see your ticket?" as I pull my ticket stub out of my pocket. After a "What?" from him I say, "I'd like to see your ticket. Apparently this is the asshole section, but my ticket doesn't say anthing about the asshole section. I wanted to see if your ticket said asshole section." People around started laughing, the drunken guy eventually realized I was insulting him, he swung, missed, fell down with me under him. I put up my hands, saying "I'm not touching him!" as there was quite a bit of action on the ground. The bouncers yank the guy up, and he's bloody! I don't know where he was taken, but I got to stay. Afterwards some random woman says, "That was funny! I kicked him while he was on the ground." That was the last time I gave my opinion to someone at a show.

[Jeff]

Andy -- wracking my brains to think of the band but I think that memory went with the Lowenbrau... It sounds very Poster Children (c 1989 that is)

[ken]

Greg - I find it hard to believe that you've only been to 650 shows, + or - . I've seen your site and it seems like more than that. This much I do know, you saw a lot of 'important' shows from '86-98 in Chicago and I was at a great deal of those as well. I did miss out on some great Champaign shows though. I wish I had your organization skills because I'd like to be able to do a similar database to yours of the shows I've attended.

Chris - I've 'blazed the chronic' before a show or two (years ago;) and it truly can enhance the experience. Also, I've had limited 'moshpit' experience but have found it to be overwhelmingly positive.

[Andy]

Jeff -- I went digging through my old cassettes last night, because I remembered playing a tune or two from that band on my show on WESU. It wasn't Poster Children, it was Sponge Tunnel.

Just FYI.

[Brad]

I've heard from some "stoners" out there that some fine weed (marijuana) can really enhance their musical appreciation. I'll take their word for it. But Acid (LSD)? Come on now. And as far as the moshing...Raygun!! I'll defer to Murph on the stage diving aspect. Some quality leaps from what I recall. (And some mighty fine weed).

[kate]

I have to comment on the earplugs being that I have hearing loss from concerts (or so that is the theory). I grew up with a rocker mom who starting at the age of three toted me to concerts with her (and this was the 80s, definitely no earplugs). My mom has a lot of hearing loss and now has to wear earplugs at shows (still rocking out on a weekly basis) while I still feel that it alters the way the music sounds, I should do as my mother says....not as my mother does...point of the story...we are exposed to way louder decibals then before and I like to here, so it may be uncool, but something to think about

[Jordan]

I can back everyone up on the Löwenbräu, but am only partly convinced it was Sponge Tunnel. But their version was great and the whole audience was stunned at the spontinuity of it all (all 5 of us).

In my defense for breaking a rule that was _way_ up on the list (hopefully more way _down_ on the list i.e. not very important), yelling "Freebird" back in '89 was fresh and invigorating, not old and obnoxious. Or, at the very least, it was fresh and obnoxious. I almost shouted it at a Guru concert a few weeks ago (terrible show!), but realized that Champaign elán probably didn't translate that well...

[JeffB]

I can't believe someone made me remember the band Sponge Tunnel. A very tiny audience indeed, but I remember having fun (though getting very sick shortly afterwards).

As for Trip Shakespeare, they may inspire a band rule: I saw them in Iowa (great show) but they went upstairs and smoked a bunch of weed before their encore and it went terribly. They tried hard to do a long improv and people started walking out on them it went so badly, despite the great show.

I'm fairly pro ear plugs if you want 'em. Your ears are more important than any show you go to. The Pixies last tour had them cranking up the volume simply too high, though that might be just because I've decided that the Aragon is a bad venue, despite the amazing Bob Mould show from years ago. I wish they'd turn it back into a ballroom or a roller rink.