Gaper's Blog

Oscars Wrap-Up

Jeez, has it really been almost three weeks since I posted here?  Sorry, I really have been super-busy, had like a 60-hour week last week including not one but two days in which I was awake for a 24 hour period. 

I can say without question that this the year in which I saw the least amount of movies (we have a one-year-old child) but the few ones I did see weren't exactly Oscar-caliber.  Not bad movies, just not the kind The Academy recognizes.  Hell, I only managed to get to two movies at the theatre: I Love You, Man and Adventureland and I loved both, for different reasons.  Of the nominees, I only saw Inglorious Basterds and that was on DVD with my wife, mother-in-law and two nieces and a nephew Christmas Night, not exactly Jesus's birthday-friendly but hey, we all loved it.  Everybody loves killing Nazis.  Even working with my 2009 movie deficiency, I still feel I can write a post about last night's Oscars with a modicum of credibility, right?

The Good:

Jeff Bridges winning an Oscar.  I'm a longtime Bridges fan, well before his turn as 'The Dude'.  I think the first time I remembered taking note of a quality performance from him was inStarman, then was blown away by his roles in The Fisher King and Fearless, both at the very least Oscar-nomination-worthy performances. I haven't seen Crazy Heart but still really want to.

The John Hughes Tribute.  My adoration of John Hughes and his work is well-chronicled (I wrote about his death here).  For the Academy to dedicate 5-6 minutes of Oscar telecast time (outside of the memorium montage) to a guy who was never even nominated for an Academy Award speaks volumes about his continuing influence on Hollywood and his alumni list is pretty amazing.  Was it me though, or did Judd Nelson look a bit haggard?

No performances of Best Song. Sure, in the past we've been treated to some pretty special live Oscar telecast performances (The Swell Season, Elliot Smith and Aimee Mann come immediately to mind) but so many of the 'written-for-the motion-picture' songs are MOR stuff like the Dianne Warren-penned Aerosmith ballad "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing'.  I didn't miss it, even if it didn't make the awards show any shorter.

The Bad:

Ten Nominees for Best Picture.  Really?  If I told you I have ten 'Best Friends', wouldn't that cheapen the sentiment?  Ten nominees seems a bit too high.

Multiple Winners Should Get Equal Time.  I'm not saying each winner should get their own 45 seconds for a speech, but give each winner 15-20 seconds to thank a few people.  I hate it when one guy (or girl) selfishly takes up the entire allotment.  Hey Fisher Stevens, you used to date Michelle Pfeiffer and you produced what looks like a heartbreaking but eye-opening documentary but you're already famous, let your partners say something.

Lame Host Jokes.  Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin are funny guys, why do the jokes always make the hosts seem like they're working the Catskills matinee show circa 1963? 30 Rock is a fantastic show with razor-sharp writing and a boatload of Emmys, why not let some of those scribes take a crack at it?

Meryl Streep Is A Good Actress.  We get it, she's great but need everyone make jokes about it?  Clooney too, yes he's handsome and a great actor (I love Clooney) but we don't need fifteen (my estimate) reaction shots of him.  I guess since Jack Nicholson apparently took the night off, the director needed a go-to guy.

Your thoughts?  Who deserved it, who got shut out? Your likes/dislikes?

Bacon? Candy? Lemmon?

I was at a family wedding over the weekend--congrats Laura and James--and my brother and I got into an interesting discussion.  Well,  we thought it was interesting, like at most weddings, an open bar was nearby, which may have enhanced our enjoyment of the conversation.  We've all heard of the old stand-by discussion topic: Desert Island _____, in which you are marooned on a desert island and must make a choice and select X amount of albums, songs, movies to listen to/watch for the rest of your life.  I always had to ask where one was going to generate the electricity to listen to/watch these choices but that's me.  The idea he put forth was a slight twist on that notion: choose just one actor--male or female--whose collective work was all you could watch for the rest of your life.  Not a director or genre but just one person whose body of work you were saddled with.  Do you go with quantity or quality?  A guy like Michael Caine has been in a ton of movies but some of them sucked, whereas Philip Seymour Hoffman has a smaller relative body of work but it could be argued his canon displays a better quality batting average. 

Choose your actor/actress and by all means provide a reasoned argument as to why your choice is the best and offer up what you feel is their definitive role. Have fun. 

John Hughes 1950-2009

No, it wasn't Kennedy dying, the Challenger explosion or 9-11, but I remember precisely where I was when I heard that John Hughes died. We were up in Northern Wisconsin on vacation and Carla's Blackberry chirped. Cell service is spotty up there so texts come in spurts and this one seemed ordinary, until Carla read it to me: "John Hughes died", was all she said.  "No!" was my first thought. He's so young, it's a hoax, like Jeff Goldblum after Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett died within hours of each other. After a few corroborating phone calls, I confirmed that it was true.  The auteur of my adolescence was dead.

Hollywood is such a fickle place, so to have carved out an indelible niche in film history is a remarkable feat. You can hope to make just one or two films that resonate with audiences but to have a body of work like John Hughes is truly unique. That is why I was so appalled by media coverage of his death.  As soon as we heard, we turned on CNN's Hollywood Tonight, ostensibly a show about the entertainment industry and were subjected to TEN MINUTES of coverage of Brad Pitt's proclivity for having sex with Angelina in a grotto on their property.  Then as they went to commercial, they flashed a Chyron onscreen that John Hughes had died. The man's films grossed over $1 Billion worldwide and he was the bumper before the third break.

John Hughes tapped into the zeitgeist of an entire generation of teenagers and I was right in his wheelhouse. Where films like Porky's had their audiences (myself included) Hughes was uncanny in his portrayal of how we spoke, dressed and acted. He nailed it. And not only did he capture the look, feel and dialogue of teens in the 80s, he shaped what we were listening to.  In his soundtracks was music we were already privy to but he also introduced us to stuff we hadn't heard yet. We knew Dream Academy but not their (instrumental) take on "Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want", and we knew of Simple Minds but definitely not "Don't You (Forget About Me)".  He canonized a certain tier of artists, the Echos, New Orders and Smiths of the day while still pumping up his love of the Beatles.  He straddled generations.

A list of songs John Hughes used in his films illustrates how far his reach was: "If You Were Here", "Rotating Head", "Shell Shock", "Twist and Shout", "Beat City", "Danke Schoen" "Ring Me Up", "Young Americans", "Don't You (Forget About Me)", "Try A Little Tenderness", "This Woman's Work".  It was the best of the 60s and the 80s.  He taught us about the music of his youth and introduced us to new music about our youth.

About seven years ago, I heard that John Hughes was going to be a guest on Sound Opinions, a show that aired right before my overnight show Tuesday nights on XRT.  I showed up early that night, hoping I'd get to meet the guy who had shaped what I listened to in the 80s.  When I got there, John was already there, sitting in the lobby and I introduced myself.  I got him some coffee and we embarked on a musical conversation that would last an hour.  We talked about the music of his youth and the music of my youth and how he shaped what I listened to and how--in a small way--he was inspired by what I did.  He said I had the best job in the world, which I countered and said, working with the actors he worked with, writing the screenplays of a generation was truly the best job in the world. He was humble, to say the least.  There are so few auteurs of the last thirty years, so I consider what Mr. Hughes did to be of the highest order. Just try to name a better writer/director of the last thirty years who captured the zeitgeist like Hughes did.

We may never see someone who captured an era like Mr. Hughes did and I will be forever grateful that I was able to express what his work meant to me and my generation.  Viva John Hughes.

Oscarly Observations/Suggestions

I was much more impressed by Jon Stewart this time around.  His first time hosting he was just getting his bearings, a daunting task when you're being seen by hundreds of millions on television. He was funnier, looser and more genuine this time out.  Though I know it wasn't a unilateral decision on his part, it was classy to bring back Marketa Irglova to complete her speech, which was heartfelt and touching.

I'm really glad "Falling Slowly" won Best Original Song.  Great song, fantastic movie.

My curiosity was slightly piqued by Javier Bardem's Oscar win but I still have no clue what No Country For Old Men is about.  Bad marketing on Miramax's part. Bad haircut on Bardem.

I'm kinda glad Ellen Page didn't win. She was superb as Juno, but it wasn't an Oscar-winning role. She'll win one someday.

That said, didn't P.T. Anderson deserve to win?  Snubbed for Boogie Nights, Magnolia and now There Will Be Blood, he's going to have to make Citizen Kane to win.

Tilda Swinton looks like an alien.  I don't mean that in a bad way, she just looks otherworldly.

Did you notice they didn't do the five-way split screen to capture the nominees reactions? Just a reaction shot of the winner.  Good move.

and a few suggestions for the Academy to improve the Oscar telecast....

1) Allow unused acceptance speech time to be banked for others to use, like overtime cellphone minutes. Ethan Cohen was super short, let someone else use that time, they budgeted for it.

2) Have winners use a credit crawl for their thank you's and use the allotted speech time to tell touching and/or funny stories.  Your agent already gets 10-15% of your salary, they don't need to hear their name called out as well.

3) Lose the musical numbers.  It's not like they show the entire films that are nominated, the cumulative time spent on the song nominees is disproportionate given it's only one category.  Maybe have just the winner perform.

4) Let the presenters decide if they want to use the lame jokes written for them or not, that Jonah Hill/Seth Rogen bit involving Dame Judy Dench and Halle Berry was painfully bad.  Two very funny guys tanking in front of 500+ million people is sad.

5) Might as well throw up an applause meter for the death montage, right?

6) Tell everyone (off-camera) that when you win and have given your speech, exit stage right.  Watching the dazed winners change course two or three times figuring out which way to go was like watching a rejected American Idol  hopeful use the wrong door after a bad audition.

7) Was anyone else sick of the telescoping microphone emerging from the floor for every presenter?  Why not just leave a microphone on stage?

Your thoughts?  Any shockers?  How'd ya do in your Oscar pool?

Tom DiCillo's "Delirious"

When Anderson Cooper spent two hours on CNN covering the death of a bimbo best known for a Playboy spread and marrying a billionaire, we hit the nadir of our celebrity-obsessed culture.  The wall-to-wall 'news' coverage of Paris Hilton's incarceration was the tip in. In other words, Tom DiCillo's Delirious couldn't have come a better time; a zeitgeist-reflecting satire about paparazzi.

Les Galantine (Steve Buscemi) is a paparazzo whose sad 'claim to fame' is once capturing Elvis Costello without his hat on (ooh, scandalous), he also caught Goldie Hawn eating lunch and shook Robert DeNiro's hand. While Les is awaiting K'Harma Leeds (Alison Lohman as a Britney clone with a slightly higher IQ) to emerge from a Manhattan club, he meets homeless kid Toby Grace (Michael Pitt) who charms his way into becoming Les's assistant in exchange for letting him crash at Les's spartan apartment, where Toby literally sleeps in a closet.  Even though Les is a bottom feeder in the symbiotic fame machine, Toby is easily drawn to the allure of this world and quickly becomes smitten with K'Harma.  Though Les knows he's small time, he continually spits out platitudes to Toby that begin with "Rule 1" that are never followed by a "Rule 2" and refers to himself as a 'licensed professional' as if he's teaching a master class in celebrity photojournalism.  Les does know the ropes though, how to score the goody bags given to celebs at red-carpet events and how to get credentialed to the premieres and parties.  He keeps hoping for his "shot heard 'round the world" [sic] which will hopefully bring him the fame he craves and perhaps bring him some of the approval his parents still won't give him.

Now if this were a regular movie review, I'd go on another few paragraphs encapsulating the entire plot and give away 80% of the movie, spoil some of the best moments/lines and there would be little incentive for you to see it.  Most trailers do the same thing, so by the time you've paid your $9-15 a ticket, you've seen most of the best scenes and heard the best lines.  Suffice to say, this is a fun movie, so to give too much away would be denying you it's subtle pleasures.  Steve Buscemi is his usual fantastic self, though I could have used two less trademark Buscemi blow-ups.  Just as he was the perfect actor for DiCillo's Living in Oblivion a decade ago, Buscemi plays Les with the right blend of bile and smarminess. I hadn't seen Michael Pitt since Hedwig & The Angry Itch but he's grown into himself and was note-perfect as Toby.  I made a mental note about how much he looks like Kurt Cobain with a twist of Matthew Sweet only to find he played a Cobain-esque character in Gus Van Sant's Last Days, so I guess somebody else noticed that as well.  After seeing her for the first time (and loving her) in Matchstick Men and then briefly in Big Fish, I hadn't seen Alison Lohman since, who belies her age (27) to play a younger role and is a delight. That she spends about 75% of her screen time in a bra doesn't hurt either.

So, if you're in the mood for a solid indie film that skewers our obsession with fame and still manages to find what seedy parts of Manhattan remain, seek out Delirious, it won't be playing at any multiplex near you but the art house needs your business too, it opens in Chicago next week. The trailer is below if you dare but be warned, it gives away a lot more than I do and spoils a funny cameo.

Gearing Up For The Oscars?

Two years ago when I was coming up with Best of lists from 2005 for this blog, I failed to post my favorite movies because I'd seen precious little that year.  Part of it was because it was a mediocre movie year and the other part was that I had only seen like two movies in the theatre that year. I still watch a lot of movies at home on DVD (then and now) but managed to get out a bit more this year and saw at least seven or eight at the show and dozens more at home. I still think Hollywood's in a slump (just ask theatre owners) but the tide's turned a bit and this year wasn't bad. And there's still nothing that can replace the experience of going to a theatre and seeing a great film up on the big screen, not even the best 'home theatre' can replicate that.

• Even though it isn't his best film, Martin Scorsese deserves the Oscar this year for The Departed. It's a bit like Pacino winning one for Scent of a Woman (rewarding a great artist for a career of great work) but I still think The Departed is among his Top 5.
• Why weren't Matt Damon or Leo DiCaprio nominated for The Departed?
• Why wasn't Borat nominated for more awards?
• Who's going to get the most applause in the infamous 'Death Montage'?
• Did anyone actually see Dreamgirls?
• How cool would it have been if Paul Westerberg was nominated in the original song category for Open Season?
• How many movies did you see at the theatre this year?
• What are you doing for the Oscars?

Celluloid + Vinyl = Gold

There are few greater cinematic pleasures than the pairing of a great scene/montage with a great song. I'm not talking about the score (about which I could easily do a whole separate list) but rather the skilled use of a 'pop' song that complements the onscreen moment perfectly. For example, Tangerine Dream did a superb score for the movie Risky Business but most of us remember the "Old Time Rock and Roll" sequence or the "In The Air Tonight" sequence on the "L" train. For the sake of this exercise, I'll just use one film from any given director, otherwise it would likely be stacked with Cameron Crowe, John Hughes and Martin Scorsese films. This list is by no means definitive or even permanent, just 10 great movie/music moments. And when the title and song are underlined, click for a link to the scene on YouTube. God Bless YouTube.

10) Blow: "Can't You Hear Me Knockin'" (Rolling Stones) - It shouldn't come as a shock that a sequence featuring the Rolling Stones would make the list and this is one of the best uses of a Stones song I've seen. The opening sequence of Ted Demme's Blow is a montage of the cocaine manufacturing process cut to "Can't You Hear Me Knockin'. Genius. Too bad Ted indulged a bit too much in the title product.

9) Risky Business: "The Pump" (Jeff Beck) - There's some great music and great scenes in Risky Business (see above) but what teenager hasn't done the 'old man's car' bit? Of course when dad's car is a Porsche 928, it's a bit more fun (and dangerous).  My favorite touch is when the music drops out as the cars stalls while pulling out of the driveway. I'm not a huge Jeff Beck fan but this works really well here.

8) High Fidelity: "I Believe (When I Fall In Love It Will Be Forever)" (Stevie Wonder) - In a film chock full of great Indie and classic rock it may seem odd that a Stevie Wonder song is the one that gets the nod. What makes this work so well though is that earlier in the film, Rob Barry and Dick discussed how Wonder's "I Just Called to Say I Love You" was so wretched a song that it may even negate the quality work Stevie did earlier in his career. To reference that scene with one of Stevie's finest songs over ths closing scene/credits is like saying "No, as bad as his latter stuff may have been, Stevie's early stuff still holds up".

7) Three Kings: "In God's Country" (U2) - Following a pivotal scene in which Clooney, Wahlberg and Cube hold up their end of the deal and allow the Iraqi refugees to cross the border, this song plays. Perhaps it's just a coincidence but that this song was chosen for a movie that takes place very near where so many Biblical events occured was also appropriate.

6) Almost Famous: "Tiny Dancer" (Elton John) - It's really tough to pick out one classic musical moment from a Cameron Crowe film. He writes with very clear notions of what songs he's going to use before a frame is even shot. I could've gone with the boombox scene from Say Anything or the opening sequence of Jerry McGuire cut to the Live at Leeds version of The Who's "Magic Bus" or myriad other examples but the scene on the tour bus in which the entire bus ends up singing along with "Tiny Dancer" is so letter-perfect that it had to have really happened. Knowing which bands Crowe went on the road with, it's kinda fun to try and imagine which band it was, The Allman Bros.?, Led Zeppelin? Bad Company?

5) Boogie Nights: "Sister Christian"/"Jesse's Girl" (Night Ranger/Rick Springfield) - Paul Thomas Anderson is another director who writes his screenplays along to the music that he uses in the films which is why his choices are so dead-on. As this scene proves, the songs don't even have to be 'cool' to work; these two are well past their prime but in this (period) context, they're perfect. If you've seen Boogie Nights, I don't need to tell you which scene these songs play in, if you haven't seen Boogie Nights, then you need to. Now.

4) Goodfellas: "Layla" - Martin Scorsese's use of pop music is legendary and masterful (this dude even has a Top 20 Music Moments in his films) and I was tempted to cite Henry Hill's coked-up chase scene in which Harry Nillson's "Jump Into The Fire" is skillfully utilized (also in Goodfellas) but the most poignant use of music by Scorsese was in Goodfellas "Layla Montage", a sequence which shows the fallout of the Lufthansa Heist with the Derek & the Dominos song.

3) Sixteen Candles: "If You Were Here" (Thompson Twins) - John Hughes owns this milieu, his championing of 'underground' bands in the 1980's is almost as legendary as his writing and directing. I don't really like The Thompson Twins but this song was so right for the closing scene, it can't be denied, it's now the only Thompson Twins song I like.  It's among a small group of songs that you could play for someone aged 20-40 and 95% of them could tell you the movie and scene in which it appeared.

2) A Clockwork Orange: "Singin' in the Rain" - This scene is one of the most disturbing in all of film, a group of young men rape a woman and her husband is forced to watch while the rapist (Alex) sings "Singin' in the Rain".  Just because it's disturbing doesn't mean it has any less merit in this category. Anyone who's seen Clockwork will attest that they'll never think of 'Singin' in the Rain' the same way again

1) Fast Times at Ridgemont High - "Moving in Stereo" (The Cars) - Phoebe Cates in a red bikini, Judge Reinhold in a pirate costume, need I say more? There may be more famous nude scenes but this sequence paired with "Moving in Stereo" is the gold standard, as far as pairing perfect music with a scene. Fountains of Wayne did a great homage to this scene in the video for "Stacy's Mom".

I'm sure I forgot your favorite, post in the comments and if it's on YouTube, post a link to the scene.

He's An Adult Now

It's not that I think Leonardo DiCaprio is a bad actor, quite the contrary, it's just that he finally shed his baby face and at age 31, can only now convincingly play adults. Leo was superb as Arnie Grape and pretty good in Titanic but when his adult roles came calling, I lost interest. If you saw a really great high school production of King Lear, that's  fine but you're still seeing a 18 year-old play Lear; that was what I felt seeing DiCaprio in The Aviator and Catch Me If You Can, a kid playing grown-up. Seeing him as Billy Costigan in (the brilliant new film) The Departed was like seeing him for the first time.  After seeing the film, I mentioned this observation to Carla and read some reviews and found someone who had made the exact same observation (second-to-last paragraph). Honest, I make it a point to not read reviews before seeing most films, especially this one.

I won't spoil any of the film's key parts but will simply say that if Martin Scorsese doesn't finally win that ever-elusive Oscar, there's something wrong in the world. Leo should win one too and Jack Nicholson will likely get a nod, this fim is that good. It's ultra-violent (not as gory as Kill Bill but it's Scorsese, no surprise there) extremely well-shot and edited and has some outstanding performances. This may be the fourth time he's used The Stones' Gimme Shelter in one of his films but it still works.

Is there an actor or actress working today that you feel either is too young to play older or too old to play young and/or what did you think of The Departed, if you've seen it?  Please warn us if you plan on revealing any key parts of the film.

Life Imitates Art

A friend of ours used to have these extremely elaborate Halloween Parties every year. She would spend several hundred dollars just on decorations and party favors and scary food, like brain Jell-o molds, themed shots and the like. They were a blast. Since she put so much time and effort into her costumes and decorations, you felt like you really needed to bring your 'A' game, costumewise. I went one year as a Blue Man (bad idea) which is the sort of high-concept costume Mindy appreciated. We outdid ourselves one year and four of us went as characters from The Royal Tenenbaums. I was to be Chaz Tenenbaum (Ben Stiller's character), all I needed was a red Adidas track suit. No problem, right? Big problem actually, Carla went to four or five different sporting goods stores and a few clothing stores, none of which carried red Adidias track suits. She bought a generic red track suit and I just pasted on a Adidas logo I downloaded from the internet. Close but no cigar. It wasn't until after the party that we learned that Adidas no longer made red track suits and that the ones in the movie were made specifically for the movie. Now, of course, you can buy them anywhere partially due to their appearance in the movie.

It got me to thinking about other items that either didn't exist until a motion picture made them popular or things that had faded into obscurity and were revived by a: book, movie, TV show or other cultural influence.

You can read more about it here but the Alfa Romeo 'Graduate' model was so-named for the car Benjamin Braddock drove (and had to later ditch when it ran out of fuel) in the motion picture The Graduate. If you've never seen this movie, you really need to rent it--like this weekend--and report back to me.

Everybody remembers Office Space right? Milton Waddams was very attached to his red Swingline Stapler. I didn't think much of the stapler until I was at the Apple Store a few months ago.  I was getting help from one of the 'geniuses' at the 'genius' bar and he used a red Swingline. I asked him if it was the same one from Office Space and he said it was and he got it at a place called ThinkGeek.

Then there's the infamous 'Dancing Homer' episode of the Simpsons in which Homer made the discovery that his beloved Springfield Isotopes baseball team (owned by the Duff Brewery) was planning a move to Albuquerque, NM. To register his disapproval, he staged a hunger strike which (for Homer) went suprisingly long and was successful enough that the team decided to stay put. Then when the real city of Albuquerque was awarded a minor-league baseball team in 2003, the city voted to name the team after the beloved Simpsons episode and are called the Albuquerque Isotopes. How cool is that?

While they existed prior to the movie, Ray Ban Wayfarers skyrocketed in popularity after their use by Tom Cruise in Risky Business. Cruise did the same for Aviators a few years later in Top Gun. I'm sure I missed a few, tell us about other products that were inspired by popular culture, or if you prefer, post a product you've seen in a movie or TV show that you wish existed.

Powdered Wigs and Cowboy Hats

Back in January I did a post about 'Films I'd Watch Over and Over'. In the comments, it was suggested that I should do a follow-up post about films everybody loves but I hate. This isn't that post--maybe later--but I thought I do a post about film genres that I avoid like potato salad.

1) Westerns - I played Cowboys and Indians as a kid; had a fringe vest, a pearl-handled cap gun and a felt cowboy hat. Yet somewhere around age 10 I completely gave up the whole Western thing. I've sat through a few 'Oaters' since, but if the story involves horses, gold claims or saloons, count me out. Even Deadwood, Lord knows I've tried.

2) Period Pieces - I know this seems like an awfully big umbrella of exclusion. Obviously movies like Saving Private Ryan or The Thin Red Line are set in the  WWII era, but that is only to tell a particular story, not the reason for telling the story. What I dislike are films like, say, ALL Merchant/Ivory pictures, where it seems as if Ismail Merchant and James Ivory didn't know that a world exists beyond the 1920's.

3) Sci-Fi - Yet another large genre to totally dismiss out of hand, but with a few exceptions--Star Wars, ET, Blade Runner and some others--I'm not down with Sci-Fi. I've never seen an entire Star Trek epsiode or movie and I'd like to keep it that way. I'm a dork, just not that kind of dork.

4) 'Cel' Animation Movies - I love the Pixar-type digital animation, but keep me away from most 'traditional' cel animation. It isn't just a visual thing, it's just that all the creative, fun, feature-length animated films are being made by the Pixar folks. I still like traditional cel animation shorts and once in a while happen upon a good non-Pixar feature, but it's rare.

5) Historical Epics - In essence, all historical epics are period pieces but this is a specific type of period piece. Think Gladiator, Alexander, The Ten Commandments, Cecil B. DeMille-type stuff. If I want to learn about these people, I'll read about them (or already have) or watch a documentary, I don't need Colin Farrell or Brad Pitt's version of them.

I'd be happy to field your rebuttals or agreement.